I'm pretty sure this has been done before, but it's always fun. The EULA shirt. Exact text will need to be refined, as I'm not very good at legalese and had to look up an EULA for reference, but it would go something like this. Note that the EULA header is huge, and the actually text is small. That's the point.
End-User License Agreement
This End-User License Agreement (“EULA”) is a legal agreement between the reader and the wear of this shirt. You agree to be bound by the terms of this EULA by reading, remarking, or glancing at this shirt. If you do not wish to be bound by these terms, you may file a A113-42 form with your local Police Box to undo your reading of this shirt.
1. Grant of License: The wearer grants you the following rights, provided you comply with all the terms and conditions outlined within.
Viewing. The reader may view, read, or gawk this shirt without penality, as long as it does not exceed ten (10) seconds. Gazing is strictly forbidden. Gazing or viewing beyond the allotted time may result in a fine. This license to view is limited to one (1) viewing per person, pointing out this shirt or sharing it will terminate the license and result in a fee.
Mandatory Activation. Before reading the shirt, the user must file an EA-B1949 form at reader expense with the TechDirt Legalese Department. After thirty (30) to sixty (60) days, if the license is activated, and if the viewer presents proof of activation by showing the recieved form to the wear, the viewer may read this shirt. To insure compliance, a new license must be granted for every viewing.
Compliments. Complimenting this shirt is allowed. All compliments must follow the standards outlined by the Persephone Courtesy Bureau, and be immediately followed by a curtsey or bow. Derogatory or sarcastic comments are forbidden and strictly enforced. Failure to compliment according to these terms may lead to a defamation lawsuit.
The wearer reserves all rights not expressly granted to you by this EULA not including or limited to the text of the EULA.
2. Transfers: This license may not be shared, borrowed, lent, or transferred to another viewer. Each viewer is required to fill out the EA-B1949 form for a proper license before viewing this shirt. Taking a picture of the shirt, pointing out the shirt, or talking about the shirt are also strictly forbidden. Any sharing of this shirt is a violation of the wearer's intellectual property, and may result in an FBI raid of your home and seizure of your computers, phones, Mercedes Benz vehicles, home, and donuts.
3. TERMINATION: Without prejudice to any other rights, the wearer may cancel this EULA if you do not abide by the terms and conditions of this EULA, if the wearer feels like it, or if the wearer doesn't like you. In which case, the reader must file an 03-K64 form with the MiB Office for memory wipe, at the reader's expense.